Russian (Foreign) Meddling

In 1347, 7 year-old Yuri Androminov moved with his family from Slavonia Russia to Livonia, which is now near modern day Ukraine. Ten years later when Yuri was 17 years old he left his family and moved to Poland. He met a young girl there by the name of Esmerelda Krakow, but he just called her Essie. She was very successful and she started a music group by the name of “The Essie Mays” because they played their first gig in the month of May. He was happy, she was happy. He loved Essie very much and he did everything he could when he could for Essie and made sure she was well taken care of.

Well Yuri and Essie had nine kids. Even though Essie was gone all the time singing and playing in concert halls only one of the kids actually looked like Yuri and that was the youngest one. Of course Essie had done quit traveling on the road so much by then and the band decided to take a break. Anyway, that youngest kid they named Yuri Essie Slavio Krakow Abrihim Androminov. That was their way of celebrating the last child being born between them and their new found faith in Christianity, of course Yuri was in his 80’s and Essie was in her late 70’s when he was born.

Okay, skip ahead another generation Yuri Essie Slavio Krakow Abrihim Adrominov, okay we’ll abbreviate his name from this point forward so no one will get confused, Yeskaa met a beautiful girl by the name of Harmonia Moon Starvensky, (And before you ask: yes her parents were hippies but back then they called them gypsies).

Anyway Yeskaa and Harmonia moved toward their ancestorial homeland of Mother Russia and settled in the little town of Washetonia the capital city of the district of Colonvaskia. But there was much unrest and all the lawmakers decided to make stupid laws and began taxing the colonist heavily. I mean the Colonvaskians heavily. (We ain’t made it to the colonies yet.) Anyway, it was getting harder and harder for Yeskaa and Harmonia to raise their fourteen children. The final straw for Yeskaa was when the leaders threatened to take away all the bows and arrows from normal everyday citizens like Yeskaa. He argued with the leaders that he wouldn’t have any way to hunt for food but they argued back that it’s not fair for the deer and antelope to have to eat berries and grass and no way to defend themselves. And if the deer and antelope have to eat berries and grass then so should we so they won’t get offended and all.

Well, Yeskaa and Harmonia had had enough and decided to pack up their little family of fifteen kids (Yea, they never did know where that fifteenth kid came from, he just showed up one day and never left. And yea, he was a meat eater too.) Anyway, they packed up and left for Germania to get away from all the turmoil. But even in Germania there was fighting and bickering amongst all the people. No one could get anyone to do anything and everyone blamed each other for the country being broke and they argued with the government because this group was getting more than that group so the government had to support all of them.

Well Yeskaa and Haromonia was getting on up in age and had to depend on the government but Germania didn’t have any money to give them so they were at the mercy of their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, great-great-gre… well you get the picture. They was supported by family until they croaked.

So the great-great-great-great-great, oh not again, one of those many children moved to England and met a beautiful little Irish girl. They married, had children and so on and so forth. So times were getting hard in Jolly Old England. As a matter of fact it was getting so hard they quit calling it Jolly and just called it Old England. Later on they changed the name to Great Britain but the financial market crash was so bad they changed the name to Broke Britain.

This great-great-great, uh this guy and his beautiful Irish wife had four, yes four girls. Could you believe living in a household with five women? No wonder he stayed in the pub all the time. He was tired of having to work hard from paycheck to paycheck each week and so he and his wife decided to move to America. He was the only one on the whole ship that could stand up straight during the duration of their trip while they sailed to America. Huh, go figure. Maybe from the sway of the ship it just looked like he was standing up straight.  The oldest daughter stood on the  bow of the ship, held her arms out wide and shouted “I’m the queen of the world!” but she fell over and they couldn’t save her.

Anyway, the family settled in a suburb of New York in the Irish, German, Russian , Jewish side of town. You know because everyone kept to their lineage with their customs and everything like that.

Each one of the girls got married to a nice handsome fellow. Skip ahead a couple of generations and now all these families done had families and these families had families and so on and so forth.

Then all these kin folk got to bickering amongst themselves because someone said something about someone else to someone who told someone what someone said when someone said they didn’t say it. Well as you know one thing led to another and BOOM! They start fighting each other, I mean literally. Fightin’, shootin’, stabbin’ and blowing things up.

Well one day this pretty southern belle saw this handsome fellow and she smiled and winked at him and batted her eyelashes at him and put on a Barry White album and all that good stuff so he was smitten. And he didn’t want to fight anymore. So they decided to make love not war.

This couple had seven kids. Three boys, three girls and one Indian. Well, he had to come from somewhere down the line. Anyway, skip ahead a couple more generations. All these kids grow up and have families of their own and these families have families. Okay we done went over this.

Well then one day this young man meets a beautiful young lady. She was an only child so surely she and her family were rich and had plenty of money, or so he thought. Come to find out she didn’t but he married her anyway and they had five kids together.

So after the last one was born they decided that this one is the perfect child so they decided not to have anymore after me. I mean him. He grew up and when he turned eighteen it was time to register for the Selective Service and his father took him to the post office to register for the service then he took him to the courthouse to register to vote. And his father told him which political party to register for but while his dad wasn’t looking he registered for the other party.

So here we are in 2018 and the mid-term elections are looming and all I have been hearing about is how the Russians and foreigners have been meddling in our elections. So as a Russian, Polish, Gypsy, German, English, Anglo-Saxon, Irish, Yankee, Indian, Redneck southern I want to personally apologize for meddling in “YOUR” election but to forewarn you this November I will be meddling again and again in 2020.

Have a great day!

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Is Your Birthright For Sale?

Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”

“Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”

But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.  (Gen. 25: 31-34 NIV) 

Those of you who have been to church or have grown up in church like myself are quiet familiar with this biblical story of Esau despising his birthright and selling it to his twin brother who was only seconds younger than him.  Esau thought he was going to die of hunger and thirst and Jacob caught him at a moment when he was most vulnerable and took advantage of him to get his birthright from him.  Some people claim that Jacob stole it from him but Esau didn’t have to sell it to his brother, he chose to give it to him for something in return.  Would you believe that a majority of Americans are not using their God-given birthright today? That is the right to vote.

The 26th Amendment was proposed and ratified on March 23, 1971 allowing anyone 18 years of age or older to vote in elections.  It was signed by then President Richard Nixon on July 5, 1971. It was the shortest time in which any proposed amendment had received the number of ratifications needed for adoption as an amendment (Approximately four months).  The majority of the Congress and Senate considered any young adult who turned 18 years old even while still in high school could be responsible enough to cast a ballot for who they believe was the best candidate for an office or position to serve the American people.  At the time they could go to war (Vietnam), fight and kill but they weren’t considered old enough and responsible enough to cast a vote for who they thought were the better Commander-In-Chief to lead them for the next four years.  There were some conflicting reports and statistics of that 1972 election almost all of them agree that around 50 percent or less of the 18 to 20 year old’s actually got out and voted and it had only declined since then until more recent elections.

I remember my high school history teacher teaching us students that we all as Americans have that right.  If you don’t use your God-given privilege to cast your ballot for your choice of candidate that is just like selling your birthright.  Esau despised his  and if we don’t get out and vote then we are despising ours.  A lot of blood, sweat and tears have fallen for the last 200+ years for this right and we all should be proud and honor our fathers of the past and take part in making the decisions for our future.

I’ve heard a lot of people ask the question, “What’s in it for me?” And I am sure there are many who would probably be willing to sell their vote to the highest bidder. Just like Esau who despised his birthright and chose to sell it, they are usually the very first ones to cry foul when things don’t go their way and the laws change.

My birthright is not for sale and in a few more weeks, November 6th, I intend to use it to the best of my ability and choose whom I think will be the best person to lead this great nation for the next four years.  No matter what candidate or party you choose I hope and pray you will use the birthright that was given you as well.

CLEAN POLITICS

That’s a word that is rarely if ever is put together into one sentence, especially during an election year. After the primaries and the run-off elections usually that’s when the gloves come off.  All the candidates are one step closer to achieving the ultimate goal. Winning the election. Taking that top spot they have worked so hard for in the last few months. That is when one candidate starts bashing another over what they did in the past; their political career being smeared all over the television, radio and in newspapers.

 But hopefully in this year’s Alabama governor’s race we won’t be seeing any of that. Both candidates agreed to address the issues at hand, and you and I both know there are a lot of them, instead of addressing each other’s past issues. It is about time candidates look toward the future, focus on the future, address the future and move toward the future.  I could care less what Ron Sparks or Robert Bentley did in the past. What are they going to do for me and other Alabamian’s for the next four years?  I think no matter which one I vote for Alabama will be getting a good governor in either one.  Both are already showing their true personality by agreeing on one thing, a clean campaign.

Hopefully this will start a new trend for future political candidates on every level.  Address the issue, not each other’s faults. I don’t want every other commercial I see on television be about who voted for or against what in 1996 or before. Or who is supporting who and making shady deals behind closed doors.  My grandmother had a saying for all that. ‘It’ll all come out on Wash Day.’

I look forward to a great election this year. Will both candidates continue to hold true to their word till November even when the polls may be against them?  Time will tell and if they do Alabama has a lot to look forward to in the next four years.  There won’t be any losers because the one who doesn’t move into the governor’s mansion next year will continue to be a good person with good quality and integrity and that goes a long way.