If I Could Do Like That

When I was younger, much younger, my friends and I would watch a movie on television only to go outside and reenact it in the yard.  Whether we were cowboys and indians, soldiers fighting in a war or out on some space odyssey like Luke Skywalker or Buck Rogers. There was a time when wrestling was the biggest thing and we would watch it on television only to wound up making the living room or den the wrestling ring and hope we didn’t break nothing when our parents weren’t around. 

As we got older things didn’t change much.  We don’t tear the house apart wrestling, as a matter of fact I haven’t watched wrestling in a long time and it’s not because of the myth that went around years ago that it was fake. Only now my son and I watch hunting shows and fishing shows, and the very thing we both say is that we wished we could kill a big buck like that, or a moose or an elk or whatever else they are hunting.  It kind of gives us an itch that can’t be scratched until we get out in the woods ourselves, early in the pre-dawn hours before the sun comes up and its cold outside.  We get in the woods and sit and wait. Watching and listening for any sound of the monster buck that we’ve seen on television the weekend before. 

Or what about the monster fish that is caught by those professional anglers? There are a few things on my bucket list and one of them is to be strapped in a chair with reel and rod to fight and haul in one of those monstrous sailfish or a massive blue marlin just once in my life. 

The very thing we say is, “Man, I would love to do that!” whether it’s in the woods or on the water most men I know would love to do that just once.  To have that picture of them standing next to that big fish or have that ‘wall-hanger’ trophy in the living room or den. 

It reminds me of the song “If I Could Be Like That” by the group 3 Doors Down.  ‘He spends his nights in California, watching the stars on the big screen, and he lies awakes and wonders, why can’t that be me.’    

And before you ladies jump the gun and think it’s all a man thing, think again.  Lately I’ve also had the privilege, courtesy of my wife, to watch the Food Network with her.  We would watch the food challenge and one of our favorites is the Cake Challenge and Cupcake Wars.  And she would say the same thing us guys would say to a hunting and fishing show, “I wish I could do like that”.

Television really does make it glamorous. We also watch DIY and HGTV and wished we could transform our houses and yards into what they do.  And to think they also make it all look so easy.  But sometime while watching these shows take a looks behind the person and see the tools and utensils they use to make everything from those backyards of paradise to those towering mountains of  sugar they call cakes. 

Then we go in the kitchen to have our scrambled eggs and toast and drink our coffee before going outside to cut the grass until it dies down in the fall.  Then go out in the woods hoping maybe we can at least kill a small buck or even a doe.  Well, now it’s back to reality so welcome back to the real world.

Deadliest Catch

A few years ago our son got my wife and I to watch a show with him on the Discovery Channel called the Deadliest Catch.  To say the least we were not too impressed to see that a word in every other sentence had to be bleeped out.  After watching that show we fully understood what it meant when someone said, “Cussed like a sailor”.

As unimpressed as we were to the language we were equally impressed by watching those fishermen work in the hardest working conditions known to man.  Fighting the cold Alaskan winter in the Bering Sea to catch their haul of Alaskan King Crab and Ophelia Crab.  To see Greenhorns, those that work on the fishing vessels for the first time, earn their rightful place on a boat.  Some would work out and be great workers while others would make the Skipper bleep out more bleeps than one would care to hear bleeped. Not to mention the few that dared to go to the wheelhouse to complain to the captain about one thing or another. 

Over the last few years we began to get to know the ones that were veterans on the boat that have been working hard for several years.  Same goes for the captains.  We even got to know a little about their families.  Those family members that worked together on the boats as a family business.  Eventually from season to season after seeing the same ones year after year we seemed to make a connection to those on the boats as though we were watching our own family members on a reality television show.

As with everything else on reality television shows each one of us did have our favorites. From our favorite captain to our favorite deckhand. Even though their biggest faults were still the language I could only imagine what those wheelhouse’s smelt like with those that were chain smokers.  But I’m sure they are under alot of stress while keeping a constant vigil on the unpredictable Bering Sea, the weather, the workers on deck and all the monitors right in front of them, all while piloting those massive boats.

One captain that we really liked was Captain Phil Harris of the Cornelia Maria.  He had two sons that worked as deckhands on the boat.  The younger son started out on the boat on the captain’s bad side by using dear old dad’s credit card to get himself a nice flat screen TV for his bunk while out to sea.  This past season he admitted to his dad he was addicted to drugs when his father caught him in his quarters taking his prescription medicine.  It was a really sad moment between father and son even while the camera kept rolling that he told him that when they got back to land he didn’t want to ever see him again. But just like any other loving father he thought about what he said and told his son  that he wanted him to go and get treatment and that he would go with him.  Captain Phil admitted that he had been there one time too and knew how it felt.

By the time the Cornelia Maria did make it back to dock there was a sudden, major turn of events.  Captain Phil was found by a deckhand in his room on the floor, apparently from a stroke.  To watch his two sons struggle with their own emotions, while people were praying, other skippers and captains all worried, Phil struggled to make a good recovery.  And that’s the way it seemed. He was doing better than expected. So much better he was sitting up in his bed and asking his youngest son for just one cigarette to which his son would not give him.

Then as the show ended word came that Phil had a sudden turn for the worst.  The last thing said was the oldest son saying, “We lost dad.” People we have never met or actually do not know we can’t help but feel for the family and friends. We watched them season after season.  They have become family to us.  This Tuesday night, July 20th, 2010 at 8pm CST on the Discovery Channel we will watch the final episode for Captain Phil Harris.  He really did love his kids and his kids loved him.  If you get a chance set your timer or tune in Tuesday night and watch this emotionally charged episode of The Deadliest Catch.


Okay I didn’t know if WordPress would allow me to use the real title in my blog as the recent movie depicts; as in the A and the double S.  Even if WordPress did allow me to use it I still don’t think I would have anyway. I haven’t seen the movie but looking at previews it just doesn’t seem to appeal to me very much. In other words I seriously doubt I would go and see it.  I do like action movies and I do like comedies.  Put both of them together and usually it would be a movie that I would really enjoy. 

My point in question though is the title of the movie itself.  Is it okay now to go to school and tell your teacher and other classmates you went and watched this movie, or even to say the phrase? How about going to church on Sunday morning and your pastor or a Sunday school teacher asking you what movie did you go see last night?  I can’t help but laugh at myself even at the thought if it.

Roger Ebert gave it one star out of four.  His words were “morally reprehensible”. Several other critics had given it a low rating as well.  I’ve read reviews of people who have gone and watched it and said it was a great action movie with lots of violence and bloodshed.  But many of them also said it’s not for youngsters (Even though one of the main characters is an 11 year-old girl). I’m not going to judge the plot of the movie and how it played out because that wouldn’t be fair to the creators or the actors and actresses of this film since I haven’t seen it.  The title alone will more than likely keep me away.  Okay, so I’m old fashioned but I just wouldn’t be able to bring myself to tell someone like a pastor, teacher or anyone else that I went and watched that movie.  “What movie did you and your family go see last night?”

“Oh we went and watched Kick Butt.”? It just doesn’t sound right using another phrase so I guess I’ll just leave it alone. 

Though my child is grown if I had any small children I wouldn’t want to take them to see it not only because of the title but it also has an R-rating.  So if its not for the kids and old fogies like me then I guess the only ones that would go and watch it would be older teens and the twenty-something crowd. Want to watch a good comedy/action movie that is suitable for the whole family?  Try to find the movie ‘3 Ninja’s’ (1992, Touchstone Pictures).   Now that is a great action movie for the whole family without all the blood, guts and gore and there were even a couple of sequels to it as well.